Motherhood is catharsis

inspired by my blog detailing my cousin's ordeal when she gave birth to Hailee, I thought that its a good idea. Why not put all my experiences into words that Paige might someday read. :)

Catharsis. If I have to describe motherhood in one word, it will definitely be catharsis.

May 1 - all throughout the pregnancy naman, masakit talaga and lagi akong may contractions kaya I had to stop working and stay at home, sacrifice - mother eh :) pero ang May 1 ay bongga. Baka nakiisa si paige sa labor day kaya naglabor kami bigla. Pagdating sa hospital - 1cm pa lang pala. Fail! so what rommel and I did - nagpatagtag we headed to Glorieta for a movie date - Avengers kami napunta instead na sa operating room.

on and off ang pain but still 1cm pa din.

May 6 - nag robinsons naman kami :) with regine, pagpasok pa lang ng mall na feel ko na parang there's water trickling down from my undies. mahina lang pero its so wet. kinabahan kami baka water bag ko na yun so we went to Manila Doctors. true enough, nag leak na ang water bag ko and dapat na ko maadmit. pinaglakad pa din ako kahit sa loob ng OB complex dahil hindi pa ako fully dilated.

May 7 - akala ko this is the day na. the pain is killing me na and they had to sedate me because I became restless with the pain. there are moments when the sedation doesn't seem to work anymore, it's a struggle to sleep and I am not allowed to eat or drink.

May 8 - I am fervently praying that anytime soon I'll deliver Paige na. I am talking to her that its now okay and that she'll be safe, I am actually shouting, pleading for them to proceed with the CS operation but according to the OB's of Madocs they need to justify why it has to be CS. Until finally around 7PM, I reached 8cm so from the labor room, we are now off to the operating room.

8PM - inside the operating room - I am trying to deliver my baby, the contractions are really eratic now and its as if Paige is kicking her way out. Unfortunately, the OB's ruled out the possibility of a normal delivery because Paige cannot fit it in my sipit sipitan - CS din pala ako babagsak :( They have to change the set up of the operating room from normal delivery equipments to Cesarean paraphernalias. They transferred me to a new bed and injected epidural anesthesia until I can no longer feel anything and I just like to sleep.

8:20pm I heard someone shouting The Baby is out, this pulled me out of my reverie and the first word that I uttered was - Asan? and then I heard the most glorious sound ever - Paige's cry :) right after pulling her out of my tummy, they placed her near my breast and then Paige and me had our very first mother-daughter picture even before they clean her :)

latest craze: The Walking Dead

Heard through FB that The Walking Dead series is a good show. I got interested, so I bought the season 1 DVD. It only has 6 episodes, hubby and I didn't even realize that we have finished all 6 because obviously we got hooked.

Hardcore gore and definitely not a family-oriented sort of program where I can bring my 9 month baby during our TV sessions. Now that One Piece is a weekly thing and we are still waiting for the latest episodes to air in Japan before we can have our fill, we had to find new shows that will interest us. Needless, to say Rommel and I are now following TWD. Unfortunately though, it is now also a weekly fare since we have watched the first two seasons and the first half of season 3.

Now, post apocalypse is not a cheerful topic to dwell but it certainly is interesting to amass high ratings in its first few episodes.

Story wise: I can really say that its A+ for imagination, especially when you are always bombarded of the same old plot lines that local channels usually offer (apart from some minimal exceptions). The premise of the story is horror, but now the creepy zombies are just beside the point. It is now about fighting to survive and co-exist with other people while these horrific creatures are threatening you day and night.

I just wish that they didn't have to put a baby in the middle of all this. :(

Fave characters: Daryl and Glen
Characters that I love to HATE: Andrea and Lori

With its mixture of politics, love, family and violence, TWD is surely a must-watch and I am excited to see how the story will develop and end. Will mankind continue to persist or all this drama will be all for nothing?

Paige Updates

Recent photos of my cutie baby :)

the year that was and welcoming anew

Great start and a fabulous end.

That's how I could sum up my transition from 2012 to 2013. Life was not easy and I don't think it will be for the days to come, at least it's not boring and its definitely happy :)

• 2012 was the best. This year I received the ultimate blessing anyone could ever receive and yes I am talking about Paige. She's my life now. She's the reason of my every action, my vitamins, my energy booster. So, this is what they call motherhood. :)
• new work :) after a difficult pregnancy and hard labor, I am now back to work. My mind is with Paige but her needs prompts me to help hubby in giving her the best so here I am tied in my desk.
• family - our family of three completes me plus my parents, sisters, parents-in-law and brothers-in-law :)

My Lord, Thanks for all the love and blessings I could never thank and praise you enough. Welcome 2013! I know you will be good to me and my family :)

Paige and bucket list

Busy as a Bee!

Frantic mornings are dedicated to do last minute Paige-care routines before going to the office. Leaving is proving to be getting harder and harder each morning. Paige is becoming more and more interactive, smiling, laughing, giggling and screaming a lot. (a perfect exercise for her lungs)

well, this is just me justifying why I haven't been updating this blog regularly.

Beyond that, I cannot think of any other interesting topics other than talking about my Paige hehe :) though I am really inspired on the latest blogs that I am reading the past few days. I don't know how to start a page like that on my own due to the many many things that I have to do.

Someone once told me that I will write a book someday, if faith won't allow me to do so then I am officially including this one on my bucket list :)

To write a blog that's more creative, more informative and more appealing to blog followers, I may not become an author but I will be a professional blogger :) 

with God's Grace :)

inspired

willing myself to be extra creative.

Zyraine Paige Baby Memories

I love babies, but nothing prepared me to the indescribable feeling of having your own.

every little detail is as precious as the other, every little progress makes me want to swell with pride. I guess I am now a certified mother. :)

As a mother that is very in love with her daughter keeping photographs is my best way of collecting memories and I will only entrust this very important task to capable hands.

Judging from her online portfolio, I tapped Ms. Leny Cruzado to take Paige's baby creative shots and my decision to get her services proves to be right :)

Baby Paige did not smile a lot but still all shots were cute and very endearing :)

Above shot is Paige's best smile edited by Leny to be more creative.

I will definitely recommend her to other mothers who would want to have creative baby shots :)

Thanks Leny :)

Sad I didn't meet her when Paige was still 14 days old. Leny also specializes newborn photography.

More of her work on http://www.facebook.com/portraitsbylenycruzado :)

my Paige

Paige's Wish List

Bottle Sterilizer

Your Baby Can Read

Bottle and Nipple Cleaner

Baby Knee Pads

Cute Booties

Learning Books for Babies

Learning CD’s/ Audio Books for Babies

Dresses/ Cute Outfits

Physiogel AI Lotion

Crib Bedding (Pink/Purple)

Dresser

Baby Toys

Dr. Brown Feeding Bottles

Dove Sensitive Skin Baby Wash and Shampoo for Babies

Oilatum Soap

Ring Sling Baby Carrier

Remembering Dolphy

My family sings 4pm very Sunday in a Mass service at the Makati Medical Center. We have been singing there since maybe November or December last year. The commentator already dubbed us as the Makati Medical Chorale. :)

In the early part of 2012, we were very privileged because we sang in a mass that was attended by the comedy king.  He was in a wheelchair, still elegant in an all-white suit and accompanied by an orderly and non-showbiz relatives. For a superstar he looks humble and subdued, shy even, taking cover in a clinical mask careful not to attract attention to himself. He looks frail and the pain is evident nonetheless, he still has an aristocratic air exuding not arrogance and fame but glamour and shine. Maybe by being in the cinema and television industry for the past six or seven decades the prestige is already glued into his aura.

He heard us sing. In a way, we have contributed in his spiritual journey, in his relationship with God. I can also recall that during that mass my sister Monic and I sang a solo in our communion song – Panginoon Turuan mo kaming maging Bukaspalad. I really hope that in that brief moment we were able to touch his heart just as how he touched ours.

My sisters were pestering me if we could have a photo with him, I am really tempted to document the moment but I cannot bring myself to approach and disturb his peace even when we are all lined waiting for the elevator. Maybe its respect and of course understanding that even stars deserve a rest.

I can truly say that he died a wealthy man bringing with him millions and millions of heartfelt laughter from Filipinos whom he had entertained for so long. You’re a legend, an icon, a name that will go down to history as someone who have enriched the TV and cinema industry and a man who made us all happy.

Tito Dolphy, Thank you po. J